Not Very Lynchian

The plan was simple. With no work on Monday, I’d stay in Sunday night, cook, watch the season finales of ENTOURAGE and FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS, do a little reading, maybe a little writing and keep the telethon going in the background. The telethon started at six and all was going well. Then at 6:15 the power went. Did I mention how hot it’s been around here lately? I knew there had been a few outages in the area in the past few days, but this was the first time I got hit.

I decided to go downstairs to see what was going on. It was clear that much of the street had lost power as well. All nearby traffic lights were out. Stores across the street looked like their lights were out. The restaurant next door where they do weddings had a full reception going on inside. I cross the street to check out some of the storefronts. They’re all dark. At the movie theater, the manager is explaining to people that they can’t sell tickets because they can’t run the movie. Way down by the Starbucks on Prospect, some DWP trucks are starting to pull up. Maybe this won’t take long after all.

I decide to walk over to Ye Rustic Inn on Hillhust to see if they have power. And maybe get a drink. As it turns out, the Rustic doesn’t have power either but the traffic light two blocks up from it is fine. Go figure. Back on Vermont, people are still milling around. Well, it’s not like we’re going to get an announcement or something. I decide to go back upstairs and sit by the window where I do a little reading. Which works just fine until it gets to dark to see. That’ll teach me not to own a flashlight. Back downstairs, still nothing. How is that wedding reception still going on? Down where the DWP trucks are working, a Parking Enforcement Officer is directing traffic and I hear him say something about how the entire transformer for the grid went down. Or something like that. Either way, it sounds bad. Maybe this is going to take longer than a few minutes.

I’m getting bored down on the street so I go back upstairs again where I’m of course even more bored. I sit in the dark, drink a few beers, send text messages on my phone to a friend. I try to shut my eyes and sleep, but I’m too frustrated to really do that.

Finally, I go back downstairs where some sirens have just been heard. It turns out they’re finally shutting down the wedding reception because of no AC. And it would seem that the ambulance had to be called for somebody because of the lack of AC. I stand on the sidewalk for a little while, chatting with neighbors. Finally I decide to head up the street again where several of the outdoor restaurants are actually open, with people dining by candlelight. David Lynch is sitting at the Figaro Café with two beautiful women. Each dressed to the nines, the three of them all look like they belong in a David Lynch film. The candlelight certainly helps matters. I’ve spotted him there before, but seeing him now made me wonder if he came out tonight purely for the experience of doing it under these circumstances.

I walk up the dark street to a friend’s house. She doesn’t have power either. We both lie out on the driveway in the back of her place, talking, wondering when this is going to end. 10:00 is approaching. It looks like no ENTOURAGE tonight. Finally, she has to leave so I head back towards my place. David Lynch is still at the restaurant with the two women. Near my building, the reception has totally cleared out. It’s now dark and quiet. Up in my apartment, there’s absolutely nothing to do, so I decide to simply lie down and go to sleep.

Several hours later, my eyes shoot open. My alarm clock is blinking 12:00. I check my cell phone, which reads 1:40 AM. Who knows how, but I must have woken up right when the power came back on. I turn on the telethon, make myself something to eat and check the computer. After several unfunny acts, Jerry appears, talking about how in the past he’s introduced such classic showbiz acts as Phil Harris, Alice Faye, The Ritz Brothers and now he gets to introduce…The Goo Goo Dolls! Somehow I don’t think this is live. Several minutes later, the show returns from a break saying they are “Live!” The picture shows Jerry interviewing Celine Dion, but the audio is Tom Bergeron welcoming us back. I flip away to let them sort this out. HBO is showing, not ENTOURAGE, but SUPERMAN RETURNS and I am reminded that Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane is one of the most disastrous casting choices ever. Back at the telethon, the audio issue has been straightened out and a guy is playing the spoons. At that point, I shut off the TV and go back to sleep. Monday’s gonna be another hot one.